Making Friends with an Archnemesis

I'm definitely in the most promising situation I have been in in a looooooooooooong time. Even though I have not found work yet, I'm feeling pretty good overall. I'm finally back up to the point where I can run 2 miles without walking some of it. I've done 4 miles recently, but I had to walk some of it. I'll get there. Baby steps.
This week has been the first in which I've gone to school in order to prepare myself for my math entry test. It's a bitch. I have an extreme case of math anxiety. The first time I went there with my aunt to check it out (the math tutorial system) my hands were literally shaking. There's a reason behind this. In recent years, I've come to see math as my arch enemy in life. I can honestly say that my lack of understanding of the subject has literally ruined my life, and has contributed to my addiction without a doubt. It has forced me to give up 2 different majors in college. With my first major, you DID need math for the actual job in the real world. But my second attempt at college was majoring in psychology. Give me one good reason why a clinical psychologist needs to be good at college-level math. It's fucking BULLSHIT that it is a requirement to get a psychology degree. Total fucking BULLSHIT!!! What's even more frustrating is that I know I would make a pretty kickass psychologist. But hey, I suck at advanced math...so much for that idea. Okay, I think you should have an idea about my feelings towards math, lol.
Anyway, my point is that I'm giving it my all (again), but this time I'm going to do my best to keep a positive attitude towards it. I can honestly say that I have had many instances where I've actually liked math. It's like a puzzle. Puzzles can be fun. I've just got to chill. Yup, gonna chill *takes long deep breaths*.
I'm still thinking about the end of the month. I've got 3 people that I can party with, but I need to pick only one...maybe two...no, I can't be greedy...one...maybe two *ugh!*.

Marathon Man

I've been completely clean for 9 days now & I do feel pretty good by comparison overall. There has been so little to do here in my new town, so I've made sure to keep myself occupied with things I will benefit from in the long run. I've discovered that my aunt has a bunch of exercise equipment in the basement here including a Bowflex (which I must admit, I was skeptic at first but I'm now a fan), treadmill, and bicycle. I've kicked my workout routine into high gear & I decided to start training for the 2009 IL Marathon. I don't know if I'm going to do the full marathon because to me it's kind of like breaking your own leg for a medal, but I have people around me that are telling me it's really not that bad. Either way, I'm doing at LEAST the half-marathon. 13.1 miles sounds reasonable to me rather than 26.2 at this point. I have more than enough time to train this time (I tried training for the Chicago Marathon a few years back, but started too late). Anyway, I'm glad to report that so far I'm doing great!
Today was the first day that I've actually gone out on my own to do my own thing (no, not coke). I actually found a pretty cool cafe downtown & hung out there for hours doing some studying up on my skills for jobs I'm applying for in the area and drinking iced chi. I was surprised at how much I actually remember even though I've not really worked in that capacity in over a year. Nonetheless, I don't want to look like a retard when I take the routine entry tests. And, speaking of tests, I got my "gonumber1" kit today, so they can drug test me all they want.
Yes, I still DO plan to see and party with CE at the end of the month. Hey, I never said I was going "cold turkey"!