Years ago, while researching various forms of Buddhism, I came across a form called "Diamond Way". One thing that stuck with me was the metaphor of using a diamond as the way your mind should be seeing the world. The diamond vision is one that is not distorted by anything (including drugs) and enables you to see the world just as it is. That's why I'm naming this operation as such. This battle has been going on for far too long and it is going to kill me if I don't defeat it very soon. My father said to me a couple of years ago that drugs impair your ability to make decisions, even when you're not high at the moment. I have found this to be true. Shit, 15 years ago I would have NEVER imagined I would be an unmarried sex-crazed lonely drug addict. Fucking never!
I'm determined to win this bloody battle. I will not go down like this. No fucking way!
4 comments:
You could try travelling abroad if you can afford it. India is dirt cheap, the main cost is getting there, you can get a room for $2 a day and hardcore travellers would probably scoff and say they pay half that. You can easily live for $5 a day in India or $10 in Goa including alcoholic drinks and cheap accommodation.
What I'm thinking is coke is relatively easy to avoid internationally. Of course cocaine is used in all countries by a tiny minority of rich people but if you genuinely want to avoid it anywhere in Asia would be good. Also Morocco is really exotic I went there. It's good for hash which is why I would go. I LOATHE hashish so it's no temptation for me. Morocco of course is nearer the United States and still pretty cheap. Thailand is spectacularly beautiful but costs about double what India does. I've never been but I really wanted to go so I looked into it a lot. Lots of people fly into Bangcock and then travel Laos (possibly Burma) Cambodia and Vietnam as well; some go into Malaysia you want to be REALLY careful with drugs in this part of the world. Malaysia and Singapore do flogging and life for not very big quantities of grass. Thailand is notorious for its jails.
But you won't have cocaine in your face in any of these places.
And like I say, even a couple of thousand dollars could last something like 5 weeks....
... just something to think about.
And if you do seriously want to go make sure you get an open-ended plane ticket it's really stressful having a date you absolutely must get back by. Lots of people go for 3-6 months every winter. Our summer is monsoon eason that's the time you can catch malaria. In winter the weather is perfect, in our spring it gets oppressively hot, then there's monsoon in summer. 3 seasons not 4.
Anyway I'm off be lucky with whatever you do.
I did go to India btw. There used to be fantastic raves in Goa around Anjuna especially.
Also I'm pretty sure you still get full moon parties in Ko Pha Ngan Thailand which is the island next to Ko Samui (which has an airport). I know people who have been to both they said Goa was much more hardcore rave-wise.
O yeah and before I forget Ko Phi Phi pronounced pea pea is sposed to have some of the most spectacular beaches on earth
Malaysia has amazing beaches too.
Malaysian food is really nice, as you probably know.
Right I'm gonna shut up now I really want to fuck off out of here I was thinking Morocco its only a 2 or 3 hour fligt from here and no jetlag, no heroin, lots of chances to speak French and it's not all desert like you'd expect. An American told me it's like California
Hi
yeah I think the travelling idea is quite a good suggestion. You would also get away from Mr X, meet new and interesting people and maybe have even time to think about 'coming out' about being bi. -You must feel quite pressurised to keep it as a secret and maybe coming out and getting to know the world better would be THE new start.
PS: If you do go travelling please continue blogging ;)
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