Super-Foque

In case anyone is wondering where the fuck I've been. I got into a fight with my mom's fuckhead boyfriend. I'm living at my dad's now with extremely limited internet access. Who knows when I'll be back on my feet. I'm tryin' .

A Salty Discharge

Not too long ago, I asked a friend if it was normal for a guy to not be able to cry. She said it was. I seriously have not cried in about a decade (and that was due to a bad trip on mushrooms!). Well, today I was wasting time on YouTube, when I ran across a video one of my old favorite songs that I have not heard in ages. It was "Do You Realize" by The Flaming Lips. Low and behold, towards the last third of the song, I began to feel a salty discharge (as Seinfeld would say) coming from my eyes! OMFG, I can still do it! I don't give a shit what anyone thinks (especially in our Western bullshit society), but it felt good! I personally DON'T think it's normal to be unable to cry. It reminded me that I'm human - a LIVING human! It also made me remember just how powerful a song can really be. It made me want to write again - something I have not felt like doing because of my situation here.

After my last crash, I lay in bed unable to sleep, then remembered what this guy, John, was saying at my last NA meeting. He said that he had done something very unusual for him. He finally decided to ask for help from a higher power. Well, shit - I did the same damn thing. Lord knows I've tried to do this on my own and have failed miserably. I got out of bed in the dark and dropped to my knees and prayed intensely! And, I have to admit that things have been going better since. Don't worry, I'm not about to get all religious wacko on everyone (seen that shit & don't like it at all)! However, I have always been a spiritual person, although unsatisfied with organized religion. I do strongly believe that there IS a higher power, and I know that it helps you when you open up to it. My life experience has done enough to prove that to my skeptic ass! Man, life is strange!!!