Not acceptable

My use of coke has still been quite rare these days.  I'm still chanting with fair consistency, so I think I've been fairly well protected from any real trouble.  HOWEVER, I'm having a very hard time trying to resist doing the "chrono" whenever I'm not working.  I don't know what else to do.  It's become such a routine habit, that I suppose it's become one that's going to be hard to break.  This is what I'm being told is a "psychological addiction".  If I repeat myself here, I'm sorry.  I'm too lazy to go back and see if I wrote this already in my last post.  Yeah, I've become THAT lazy too.  I'm actually sober right now, but I'm pretty sure that's not going to last very long.  The weather doesn't help.  It's currently 9 degrees Farenheit with wind chill outside.  Tomorrow it will be -15 (yes, negative 15).  I'm not even sure I'll be able to force myself to go to the gym tomorrow like I want to.  The weather is a big factor, but so is my fucking gut.  I've never been this heavy before & it's starting to look horrible.  My one thing that was keeping me sane throughout this poverty, has been my good health.  Now that is deteriorating.  I still love weed and always will.  But, as long as I keep breaking my own moderation rule, I'm fucked.