I did the shit I bought and hired a hooker who did some with me. She was okay, but nothing special. Then I found some guys on the website. This was Saturday. Then, just as I'm starting to recover, BAM! Now I'm partying with Mr. X. In anticipation of being fucked up today, I called Sunday and cancelled today's appointment with my new therapist. What a great start I'm off to. I'm at a complete loss. I really don't know what to do any more. Any serious suggestions (especially from former addicts) would be appreciated. I feel like I've tried everything except for actual rehab. My best friend suggested outpatient rehab, but I'm not exactly sure how that works. I imagine you have to go through the emergency room first, which is not an option for me because the chances of me being recognized at any of them are high.
My life appears, once again, to be revolving around coke. This is bad. Very bad.