Well, this is my 3d night in Chicago & I'm feeling pretty good. I'm staying at M.U.'s, of course. On New Year's Eve, we had a great play session. I was not expecting that because I did not think she had enough money for shit, but somehow she go it, lol. And the big question everyone is asking me lately is "are you and..."...hold on a second, I'm sick of this "M.U." shit - from now on I'm calling her "Squeaky" (because her laugh sounds like squeaking, lol). Okay, so the question everyone is asking me is "are you and Squeaky getting back together?". The best answer I can offer at this time is "quite possibly". When the new year hit, she kissed me & I actually did not feel like pulling away, lol. I can't stay too long though because I'm in my uncle's truck. Oh, and get this shit...
So, my aunt & uncle got back on Tuesday. I had told my aunt earlier that I had quit my job & she took it pretty well. I assumed that she would tell my uncle. So, they got home & I had dinner waiting for them (a kickass recipe I dug up from one of their million cook books) & everything was great. They loved the "Brazilian Beef" I made & they had offered for me to take the truck up to Chicago instead of me having to take the train. I jumped at the idea because that meant I could bring my dog & my guitar in addition to my standard travel shit. So, I helped them unpack while I packed & things were just peachy. I was JUST about to leave and said my goodbye's, when the fucking dome light would not turn off. I went back in & told my uncle about the problem. He came out and messed with it until it was fixed. Once again, I was ready to take off, but then at the very last second he asked me when I had to go back to work. OH, NO FUCKING WAY!!! Somehow, the news of my quitting did not get to him. So, I kind of fumbled for a few seconds & said "well...I don't know". He gave me a very puzzled look, then I finally just told him that I was not happy at all at that place. His entire demeanor changed to one of not being very happy. We said our goodbye's once again & my happy mood was instantly killed. The journey that followed did not help things either, believe me you, but I will spare the details.
I'm still standing by my decision though. I've been coming to terms with the fact that, to most people, I'm a complete freak. Actually, I've known that since I was about 8 years old. I guess I'm coming to terms with accepting it & really not worrying so much about what others think. I'm not happy when I'm "normal". I feel trapped & eventually, when I break out, I make a huge mess! Anyway, this mindset is very fertile ground for The Muse & I feel the strong need to start writing & performing again. I don't care anymore if I have to go out there completely alone & do open mic's. If that's what I need to do, then I'm going to do it. I think the time is now. I don't give a shit if I'm 99 years old, I'm still gonna rock if I have any life left in me!
4 months ago