Sunday, September 25, 2011

There is a Light That Never Goes Out

Another weekend is coming to a close here & I guess you could say I've improved slightly. No, I did not resist temptation on Friday night, but the "coke" we got was some of the worst shit I've ever tried. Like it was such shit that I actually returned it to Mr. X and he gave me my $ back. On top of selling us a bunch of fake ass bullshit, the fucker wanted to charge us more for it because they were larger than normal packages. Yea, fucking great, so you're charging us more for a large package of fucking baking soda? Fuck you! I hope someone gets whacked for cutting it. Assholes.
Anyway, needless to say, I did not get too fucked up, so I was actually functional the next day.
I went to another NA meeting on Wednesday & actually got my white key chain this time (symbol of someone who is at least trying). Everyone clapped enthusiastically when I got up to get it. It was actually pretty cool! PN, the girl I mentioned last time gave me a big hug afterwards and said "thanks for coming!". It was quite nice.
On Saturday, I called her just to talk and get a little more familiar with her and the program itself. Turns out she was in a similar situation as I was in '08. She lived with an abusive girlfriend who had her hooked on heroin. I think she threw the girlfriend thing in there to make sure I knew she is a lesbian, lol! I'm actually glad she is, because right now I need a friend more than anything. There was another guy there that spoke to me for a bit before I left the last meeting who seems really cool. I swear, this may just be the thing I need to finally get the fuck out of this mess.
I also went back to the gym (finally) after two weeks of being too fucked up to do it. It feels good, although I still feel sluggish.

3 comments:

outkast5555@gmail.com said...

Glad to hear you had some positive experiences with meetings and recovery people! I was in the depths of despair with addictions to just about everything. It has been over 6 years since I've drank or used illegal drugs, and my life is full: renewed relationships with family and friends, new friends in recovery, back to work in my career making more $ than ever, active at my gym and playing sports, and most of all happy to be alive with real self esteem (for the first time in my life). The journey wasn't easy, but anything worthwhile usually isn't. If you have any questions or just want to vent, shoot me an email.

Coke Addiction Kinda Sucks said...

Thanks so much! I just may.

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