Die, insomnia, die!

I got here to my aunt's on Saturday night. I partied for the "last" time on Friday with MU. NS was already calling me as I was driving down. So, I've been clean for 4 days so far. Before I left, I ordered my favourite drug-test-buster, the "Number One" for urine tests. I've used them 3 times already, and they are flawless. I'll even give them a plug: http://www.gonumber1.com
I still don't know for sure that I'm going to apply for a job yet because I'm still finding out information about Australia. If I end up going, I'm going to make it as soon as possible. I have to get out of this limbo state - I can't stand it.
I'm not going to lie - I have been thinking about coke every day since I've been here. I can't sleep worth shit, which makes it even worse somehow. It's very easy to get bored down here & I'm feeling the effects. Boredom, as any drug addict trying to quit knows, is not good for staying clean. That's another reason this limbo shit is driving me nuts.
My behaviour is definitely revealing the part of me that does not want to quit. I'm already making plans to see a friend (who is struggling to quit too) at the end of the month. She lives 5 hours away from Chicago, so now she's only like 2 hours away. We'll call her "CE". She's a pretty cool stoner chic that I met on line a few years ago. In my head I'm thinking "I just need to cut down a lot on my skiing and not necessarily quit altogether". It will definitely be much harder to use while I'm here. My family has got a close eye on me, now that the word has gotten out.
I'm going to try and get back to sleep. Wish me luck.

Blue Blah Blue Blah

Not much really exciting to report today. I had another weak moment earlier. NS told me that we might be able to hook up today or tomorrow, so I called him around 4:30. He said he had to work in the morning, so he couldn't party. I was relieved and frustrated at the same time. I did hesitate for a few minutes before dialing, but the crave got the best of me.
I seriously thought that I would be out of here by now. Actually, I thought I would be strongly urged to go to S. IL by my aunt, but she still has not called. I know she's not stupid and she knows what's going on. I should be able to do this on my own though, but I guess I'm too comfortable, as weird as that sounds.
I've been trying to take Melody's advice (thanks :D) and divert my thoughts to something else. It DOES feel good to take a break from my high revving brain once in a while. I started to watch "Cocoon", but got too annoyed with the overdose of 80's cheese. We popped in "Mosquito Coast" instead. That one was decent and tolerable. After the movie, I planned to work out, but instead I'm eating pizza and writing on here. I'm still going to work out - I swear! I HAVE to - I've been way too lazy about that shit.