This weekend was another binge. Friday with MU and Saturday with NS. Even though I knew that it would be better to wait a day in between, I decided to go two day in a row anyway. I did not even really have a good time on the second night, which was what I was afraid of. And trust me, I tried! It was actually more of a situation where my body was just too tired to keep up with my high-ass brain. I guess I figured that this would be the last weekend I'd be doing anything for a while. Of course, you never know.
Last night was kind of weird. I was bored, so I decided to smoke some herb & surf YouTube. I watched a couple news segments from when real journalism was still in existence. They dealt with murders that were covered up as suicides. It set me back into my truth-seeking mindset. I was reminded again about how this world is run & how we're constantly fed all these bullshit lies about what's really going on. Now I'm depressed again & I'm trying to get back into my "ignorant state". Yes, I purposely make myself ignorant because I'm so sick of being depressed. If we dig too deep, we find that what we are being told is a bunch of bullshit. I tend to dig deep because I was taught never to trust authority. I hate to be among the ignoramuses, but I've learned that it's the only way to keep what's left of my sanity. I'm not sure what's worse: being truly ignorant, or purposefully being ignorant!
mementos mori
2 years ago
2 comments:
That's why we self medicate, if nothing was wrong with (the world/ourselves) we could all dance around like happy idiots til we died of old age in a sunlit meadow somewhere surrounded by friendly woodland creatures. I don't know about you but that scenario kinda freaks me out. Complete happiness sounds good in theory but.......
Maybe I'm wrong, I've always been a contrary bitch. In my mind I always say I won't ask for happy, I'll be satisfied with content, happy just sets me up for disappointment. Whew, that was deep. Get outta your head, you think too much:)
These are my thoughts exactly!
I do the same thing.
I avoid the news and newspapers just so I can live in my own happy world where nothing is wrong, and i know nothing.
Purposeful ignorance is better than truly being ignorant.
The things that are going on make anyone depressed, so if ignoring that shit just to be a little bit happier is what you have to do, then it's ok!
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