Caught in the undertow

Okay, so usually when I take Prozac, my mood improves. It seemed like it was starting to help yesterday until I got up this morning. I had a hard time sleeping & didn't get to bed until around 3am, then got woken up again at 5am by an ambulance - THEN, again by construction in my building which started around 8 or so. Anyway, when I got up, I was feeling pretty damn depressed again & even had those "bad" thoughts popping in again. I don't want to say "suicidal" thoughts because technically they weren't. I was like I would think "okay, well what the hell am I going to do even if I do go back down to FL and get my shit? That's IF I make it back.". I've become extremely asocial & that is not a good mode to be in when looking for work. Today, I have not even looked. I've tried to work out, but decided to eat ice cream and write in my blog instead. Maybe I'll try later. I feel so goddamn inadequate right now. I feel like I have not got shit to give and I'm living off of other people. It might seem like a joy-ride at first glance, but nothing could be further from the truth. I was independent. I was on a road to greater goals and prosperity until I fucking fell & decided to "take a break for a while". It's like I saw myself finally getting somewhere & then I just sabotaged the whole fucking thing. Perhaps it's just another form of my self-destructive tendencies. I'm so sick of it. I want out NOW. At this point though, it seems impossible to get out. I've burned too many bridges & replaced good habits with bad ones. I know there IS a way out, but I can't see shit right now. This sucks giant chupacabra ass.