My Other Addiction

I'm back in Chicago, and I plan to stay! I got here about a week ago. I was SO glad to get the hell out of Florida, and even more glad that I was returning to my beloved hometown. Yes, my other addiciton is Chicago. And, yes, the cocaine - I'm getting to that...
The original plan was for me to stay with my friend, RM, but she just had two kids and it just did not make sense for me to stay there while trying to look for work (she also lives in the burbs). So, I came to stay with my ex (MU), who I have to admit, I've missed. My dog is also here, so I'm very happy to be able to see him. And, of course, MU likes to party and have intense nasty sex! She apparently got the stuff the weekend before I came here. I noticed she was being very vague about how much she had (she said she was going to try and get 3 packages). When playtime came, there was only one. She told me that she had been able to only get 2, and that she just put them both in one bag. I commented that it did not look like it amounted to 2, but was cool with it. The sex was amazing, as usual. Afterwards, she admitted to me that she had done some already, and that she was scared of becoming addicted. STOP! Wait a minute...
She said that she had been doing it every Friday, and she looked forward to her fridays now because she could escape for a while. I commented that "once a week" was what WE used to do, and she never had a problem with it. I felt like some sort of manipulation was in progress. I asked her if she did it alone, & she said "yes" and that "thats what porn is for". The last quote is exactly what I said when I did all that coke she sent down when she came to visit in FL. I asked her straight out "Are you being honest, or is this some sort of manipulation thing?". She said she was really scared of the addiction, and brought up the fact that she looked forward to Fridays again. I still smell a rat, but I don't know. I know that she wants me back more than anything, and I don't think she knows that I've been considering getting back with her very seriously. I really think that if we could keep it down to doing it just once a week, we will be fine. The problem before was that I was doing that in addition to partying with NS once, and sometimes twice a week. That's when things got really bad.
When I came up here, I really thought I would be able to just ignore NS, and not even let him know I was here. Well, MU went out of town for the week, leaving me here alone. I smoked some weed, and my inhibitions disappeared, so I called him. Needless to say, we partied on Friday. I WAS actually surprised that I actually called him. I really felt that I was through with that. Another former party person called me as well. He's been sending me texts to come party with him, but so far I've resisted. I really don't want to fall back into that fucking trap again & I'm scared. I worked out today for the first time in a long time, and it feels so good to do that again. I want THAT to be my habit that I do several times a week - not coke.
She is coming back on Tuesday. Apparently she has stuff already lined up for us to party. I can't wait! Damn, why is that shit so good???