Drug Tales

On Monday, as MU was leaving for her babysitting job, she asked me if I was going to see NS & I told her "no". In fact, the thought had not even occurred to me until she mentioned it. So, of course, I called him and he was at work and did not get back until Tuesday night. Well, even though I was depressed that I had even called him & was feeling like shit the whole day, I called & we hooked up. He had gotten 2 bags (these are bigger than the ones we usually get from TM). We did both of them in about 2.5 hours. I think one reason it went so fast was because it was weak shit (the guy he gets it from has told him before "if you don't like it, you don't have to buy it"). I was actually kinda glad that it turned out that way because had it been good shit, I would have been feeling extremely shitty afterwards, which I really didn't. So, overall the night was okay & I was kinda glad that my stupid plan was semi-foiled.

I also FINALLY went back on my anti-depression med (Prozac) on Sunday night. I felt it really start to kick in yesterday. I tried going off of it a few times during my 15 years or so of taking it, and have always been relieved to go back on. I know I have actually made a shitload of progress in fighting off depression since then & I guess I always want to see if maybe I can do it without the drug. Hopefully I can get back on track now. I feel slightly more focused & I don't have the suicidal thoughts popping in periodically, so that's good. Ah, drugs - what would we do without them!